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Wednesday, December 17, 2014

A Fractal Universe

A Fractal Universe
It's a Fractal Universe
suspended between pure chaos
and boring order
Look at it from above
as we fall towards the sea
the level of detail we can see
stays the same
almost order,
patterns that never exactly repeat
changes that never ever are exactly the same
Endless chaos
Fractal Animals
We are crazy fractal animals
living in an almost sane world
a sequence of cartoonist panels
that seem to think thoughts
and therefore think they are alive.
Descartes Cartoon
captions over a half drunk cartoonist panel
Is that God?
A panel over my image says "I think therefore I am.
If God speaks to me
Is it a cartoonist speech
Done with pencil and eraser?
Is my life like a cartoon?
The end the last frame he feels like drawing?
Yet I feel the painful traumas
Of the cartoonists strange set of humors.
What do I see?
and is it really there?
It's not even a proper vision
Though it roils in turbulence like a tornado
with a vacuum cleaner roar
No angelic music
No thumping heart beat
Unless my mind can imagine it
and fine some other existence
at some point this distance is gone.
not even a song.
Just as it ever was
dancing patterns,
a chemical burn
electrons vibrating and singing
keeping each other company
A Gate moves open here
A pattern that says something
Do we really understand what?
A code that seems to say life
But also says death.
Creaking, seeking, freaking, tweeking
We live the illusion we call mind.
We seem to see things
but this is the brain talking to itself
all the time
Crazy monkeys who talk to ourselves.
We dream of better things
But our dreams lack imagination
They fire in chemical sweeps from overstimulated neurons.
We live in a bounded universe
Up, Down, left, right, forward and back
Stop and Go
All bounded by these boundaries we call time
And what do we know of time?
That one day it collapses
Suspended in dust?
All it's particles an illusion
What seemed solid, magnified by the mind
Collapse and shrink into a darkened "not"
No possessions left, just a puff, a nothingness.
And what do we know of time?
We express sequences,
but do we know them?
The serpentine crimes of travelling time
Chronons might travel backwards, but we would never know it.
For us we experience time travel only one way.
With inevitable death waiting.
And Death?
One day he was among us
Now he is not.
That is all we know...
and the certainty that one day
others will experience each of us passing that way
though we will not.
I won't feel anymore
I am already numb
The reality of the moment
makes me feel dumb
I have nothing more to say
Nothing to say
Nothing can cushion
this ultimate illusion
this destroyer of delusion
when all the myths collapse
Into speculative megillahs
furies fall to dust
and hope is finally gone.
But so is fear
A chasm below
Is there a heaven above?
In our imagination, yes;
We can move up, down, forward, back, left right
Forever in endless circles
and we can experience endless pain and suffering
We are circling around a hole in time
Certainly heaven can be somewhere in there, with hell
in that whirlwind singularity called the end.

Christopher H. Holte written 2005

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